Thursday, June 5, 2008


This post makes me want a cherry tree, and I don't even care for cherries. What is it about fruit blossoms that is so wonderful? Orange, peach, plum, cherry. I'm a little (okay, more than a little) jealous - I would also like to be there napping under the cherry tree in Lorraine everyday after lunch.

I spend way too much time indoors. I know this. My skin is showing it - I'm very pale right now. This past weekend Emma and I were putzing around the backyard in the late morning, and Lucas came out to join us. He found a perfect spot, nestling himself in the planter along the back wall, under a plant. He was half shaded, so he could feel the warm sun yet not overheat himself. He looked so peaceful, sitting there, watching us. I wish I had a picture.

I often take pictures (both real and mental) of Lucas when he is curled up relaxing or napping. I think it is because I envy his ability to be so restful. I've never been good at relaxing. I have a hard time taking naps during the daytime, and I can never seem to just sit still - I require something to read or occupy my mind. Even on weekends that I don't have anything I need to do, I have such a hard time feeling idle. I really want to just nap in the half-shaded spring sun, relax, and soak in the warmth, and yet when I try, my mind races and I fidget.

I can probably recall all of the times I have been able to still my mind and just feel at peace - those all-is-right-with-the-world moments. I can remember where I was, what the circumstances were - they are very few and far between; I treasure them. It's probably the reason I love morning so much - it's the one time of day I feel the most peaceful - warm in my bed, and not yet affected by the stress of the day.

Yoga is another thing that I find really relaxing - at least the cooldown afterwords. It's unfortunate that it has been so difficult to find time for it. Something about lying still in a dark room following a calm exertion. Perhaps that is it - I don't exert myself much sitting in an office chair all day most days.

We have Emma again this weekend. Perhaps we can go to the beach, or the park, so I can fulfill this need I have to be outside.

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