Friday, June 30, 2006

I'm a Wuss

I went to the doctor yesterday, and as it was my first appointment at my new doctor's office, she asked me all sorts of basic questions - including when I last had a tetnis shot. It was when I was 14, so I know that I'm two years overdue, but I have a phobia about needles (when I had my wisdom teeth removed and they put the needle in my arm for the anesthesia, I fainted; I don't even like seeing needles go into someone else in the movies). Well, my new doctor wasn't having it - she didn't ask me if I wanted to take care of that today or if I wanted to schedule an appointment - she just says that after my check up she's going to send the nurse in to give it to me.

OK.... I don't like needles. I know this. I'm a little anxious at this point, but the nurse hasn't come in yet, so I'm trying to read my book as I sit in the room waiting for this nurse, but I can't focus. She comes in with the needle, and I have to admit I panicked. I was flush and shaking and suddenly needed some water really bad. I thought I might pass out again.. When she finally did it, it didn't even hurt (this nurse was skilled) - felt like a little pinch. I felt so silly for freaking out as much as I did. I'm a wuss.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I will not be a lazy homebody!

I can choose to spend my free time doing anything - I can watch TV, read a book, play on my computer... or I can go outside. Remember outside? Where we played as kids.

Well, I have made a decision... I will not become this lazy person that just sits at home on her computer. It's June! and it's beautiful outside! So I've made some decisions for the summer::
I will limit the free time I spend on my computer
If I want to read I will go outside to do it
I will spend at least one day each weekend outdoors doing something active

Monday, June 19, 2006

Lovely weekend

We decided we werent going to spend entire weekends indoors anymore. Especially on weekends we have Emma. We spend so much of our lives indoors, sitting at our computers and almost no time outdoors. And its Summer! Our goal is to spend at least one day each weekend outside, being active going to the beach, the park, swimming, socializing whatever.

We intended to go to the beach on Saturday, especially since our beach jaunt two weeks ago had been so lovely. We were delayed some, but we finally made it. Had a lovely time read, moved sand around as if we were building a sandcastle, buried Emma in the sand

Saturday night we spent at Bobbys parents house, mostly listening to his great-grandfather talk about his life. The man is 95 years old, so he had some great stories. Some things that stood out to me: He said, There will be a woman president, there will be a black president, (which for someone in his age bracket seems a remarkable sentence) hes been a democrat his entire life and is ready to vote for Hillary; His proudest moment was the day he married his wife, and he wishes he still had her; He quit smoking in 1942 because someone told him he couldnt do it, he quit drinking because someone told him he couldnt do it, and during prohibition he sure knocked it back (someone told him he couldnt do it).

I escaped for a bit in the morning to visit my parents and wish my big bro a happy Fathers Day., but the rest of Sunday we spent at the park, playing softball (well, as much as you can when you only have between 5 and 14 people all day), having a water fight, barbequing It was a good time. I wasnt as diligent with the sunscreen Sunday, and I have a mild burn (and bad tan lines) to show for it, and unfortunately Im a bit out of shape so Im sore now from the softball. When we were just fielding some balls, waiting for folks to show up, it was really heating up and all I could think was how nice some water balloons would be right now so I ran off to get some. Wouldnt you know no water balloons at Stater Bros. or Target. How does this happen? Its June!

Overall, it was a lovely weekend, and Im glad we spent it outside, rather than in our box.

Thursday, June 15, 2006


It was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be more than fun.
I'm a lover of comedy stand-up comedy in particular, and I got a message from one of my favorite comedians, Dane Cook, a couple weeks ago (Im signed up for email updates from his website). They were going to be filming the finale for his HBO series, Tourgasm, near LA, and if you could be within 30 miles of Hollywood on June 13th and wanted to go, fill out this form online. Well, the premise of Tourgasm is that Dane and these three other comedians travel around the country doing 20 shows in 30 days. So I think to myself this is awesome! I get to see Danes stand-up for free. So I sign up.

Last week I get an email saying I've been selected. Please reply with the names of me and my guest, and check my email the morning of the 13th for the location. YES!!! I immediately forward to my boss and tell him Im taking a half day (the thing is at 3:30, somewhere near LA).

I check my email in the morning its going to be at the Santa Anita Racetrack. I take my half day. I'm so excited. I rush home, change, and head over to the train station. Bobby's working in LA, so I'm going to meet him there and were going to carpool over. We arrive at 3:30. I'm so excited and there is one of the longest lines Ive ever seen - and I go to Disneyland all the time.

I think to myself OK, they just have to check everyone's ID and release form and they probably just started. At around 5:30 we FINALLY get through the gate. For those of you that don't know Tuesday was warm. I was expecting some sort of wait time, but this is ridiculous. OK, now were in, and there werent too many people behind us, so it shouldn't be too much longer, right? Nope. Once inside, we were portioned up by wristbands, and told to stand in a particular place. They essentially lined us up along a pathway so Dane and the others could walk through while they videotaped it. People are getting really irritated. I'm hearing things like "This better be a damn good show" and "I thought Dane was all about the fans, but I guess he's all about the bullshit." At 6:30, some guy tells us Dane and the others will be landing in about 10 minutes and the whole thing will get started. At 7:00 thats right folks, 3 and a half hours after we arrived the helicopter shows up. About 15 minutes after that, Dane et. al finally start making their way through the crowd. I dont even want to clap at this point I want the show to start. They get to the end and do a short Thanks for the memories thing with each other, awarding silly awards to one another, promote their websites, etc. Then some guy gets up there and says, OK, people with red and white wristband go over [somewhere], everyone else, thanks for making it out, head out the way you came and we have Tourgasm posters for you on your way out.

Excuse me!?!? Are you fucking kidding? Its 7:35. The red and white wristbands are people working there. I think they had something set up for the green wristbands, who were at the front of the line (god knows when they got there), but basically they sent everyone home.

My heart sank. I was pissed. Let me explain the many thoughts I had at that moment.

  • What, no comedy?
  • Fuck this, if I wanted to take a half day to hang out in the sun all day for nothing, I'd go to the beach.
  • Its a damn good thing the only alcohol anyone had was what they brought, else there would be a riot. (And then, because I often think of little Dane-isms, I thought of him saying, no, youre a riot, and then I was sad, because I knew that now every time I think of a Dane-ism I will remember this day and be angry and sad).
  • I took a half day and wasted whole afternoon, so now I will feel bad if I take a half day to hang out with family on Thursday like I normally would. And all for nothing.
  • I am not this girl. I am not the crazed fan that just wants to touch by celebrity of choice, which is what we were all recruited to be. I don't even care if I meet him I just want to be entertained.
  • What can I do about this? Stop watching the show? I'm not even watching TV as of late I wouldn't be watching anyway. Not buy Dane CDs or go to his stand up when he's in town? This hurts me too - I enjoy his comedy (although now it will be tainted by this day). Write an angry letter or email? I could, but will he even see it, and what can he really do now?
This morning I checked my email and there is another email from Tourgasm. It is a note from Dane to all those that came on Tuesday, apologizing. He says it was his production company surprising him, and that he didnt know what was planned (which was consistent with the previous emails), and that he would like to set up something special as a thank you/sorry. This is all I wanted, an apology, but I still feel saddened by the whole thing.

Thursday, June 1, 2006

The Tides They are A-Changing

I think there are moments in your life when change occurs. Sure, some things change slowly over time, and there are things that are always changing, but it seems like major life changes happen over a relatively short period of time, and often close together.

I feel like I've grown up a lot over the last year or so. I know I was technically an adult nearly 9 years ago, but I still always felt like I really wasn't there yet. What is it that changed so suddenly?

Is it because I'm crazy in love right now? Because I'm with the person I'm sure I want to marry? Is it because I'm almost a step-mom? Is it because I'm no longer dependent on a parent or guardian figure to support me financially? Is it because I'm done with school and working a full time job? Is it because all of these things are the case?

The strange part is that it all happened within a relatively short time. I feel like I wasn't a real grown up a year ago, or even 9 months ago. It seems this sense of being an adult, a real adult, has really only developed over the last 6 months.

While I still enjoy spending time with my friends, I would rather go out to dinner with them than a club. I enjoy a BBQ with my family as much as staying out all night with friends. I don't mind when I call my friends and they spend as much time talking to their toddler as they do talking to me.

I am an adult.