Thursday, November 9, 2006

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, Isn't that obvious?)
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.""Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Thursday, November 2, 2006

Crazy Dream

I had a crazy dream last night that I'd run into my ex, Jason, and he was trying to show me how much he'd done to improve his life. And it was like he was trying to get back together. And I don't know why, but he had an Emma too. Not just a kid, he had a carbon copy of Emma.
I was trying to be nice, but i couldn't wait to get away, but his Emma was asking me why I'd left her. Why I never called or visited her anymore. Then suddenly we were in a house that was supposedly his across the street diagonally from my parents house (where there is actually no house, it's a street), and I was trying to tell his Emma that my parents house is right there and she could call me any time. I wanted to leave because Jason was making me feel uncomfortable with his trying to get back together, but I was having anxiety about leaving his Emma.

I told Bobby... he said it made him feel like if I ever left him that I would have anxiety about leaving his Emma. I had to agree that (not that I planned on leaving him, but) I probably would have anxiety about leaving her.