I'm a lover of comedy stand-up comedy in particular, and I got a message from one of my favorite comedians, Dane Cook, a couple weeks ago (Im signed up for email updates from his website). They were going to be filming the finale for his HBO series, Tourgasm, near LA, and if you could be within 30 miles of Hollywood on June 13th and wanted to go, fill out this form online. Well, the premise of Tourgasm is that Dane and these three other comedians travel around the country doing 20 shows in 30 days. So I think to myself this is awesome! I get to see Danes stand-up for free. So I sign up.
Last week I get an email saying I've been selected. Please reply with the names of me and my guest, and check my email the morning of the 13th for the location. YES!!! I immediately forward to my boss and tell him Im taking a half day (the thing is at 3:30, somewhere near LA).
I check my email in the morning its going to be at the Santa Anita Racetrack. I take my half day. I'm so excited. I rush home, change, and head over to the train station. Bobby's working in LA, so I'm going to meet him there and were going to carpool over. We arrive at 3:30. I'm so excited and there is one of the longest lines Ive ever seen - and I go to Disneyland all the time.
I think to myself OK, they just have to check everyone's ID and release form and they probably just started. At around 5:30 we FINALLY get through the gate. For those of you that don't know Tuesday was warm. I was expecting some sort of wait time, but this is ridiculous. OK, now were in, and there werent too many people behind us, so it shouldn't be too much longer, right? Nope. Once inside, we were portioned up by wristbands, and told to stand in a particular place. They essentially lined us up along a pathway so Dane and the others could walk through while they videotaped it. People are getting really irritated. I'm hearing things like "This better be a damn good show" and "I thought Dane was all about the fans, but I guess he's all about the bullshit." At 6:30, some guy tells us Dane and the others will be landing in about 10 minutes and the whole thing will get started. At 7:00 thats right folks, 3 and a half hours after we arrived the helicopter shows up. About 15 minutes after that, Dane et. al finally start making their way through the crowd. I dont even want to clap at this point I want the show to start. They get to the end and do a short Thanks for the memories thing with each other, awarding silly awards to one another, promote their websites, etc. Then some guy gets up there and says, OK, people with red and white wristband go over [somewhere], everyone else, thanks for making it out, head out the way you came and we have Tourgasm posters for you on your way out.
Excuse me!?!? Are you fucking kidding? Its 7:35. The red and white wristbands are people working there. I think they had something set up for the green wristbands, who were at the front of the line (god knows when they got there), but basically they sent everyone home.
My heart sank. I was pissed. Let me explain the many thoughts I had at that moment.
- What, no comedy?
- Fuck this, if I wanted to take a half day to hang out in the sun all day for nothing, I'd go to the beach.
- Its a damn good thing the only alcohol anyone had was what they brought, else there would be a riot. (And then, because I often think of little Dane-isms, I thought of him saying, no, youre a riot, and then I was sad, because I knew that now every time I think of a Dane-ism I will remember this day and be angry and sad).
- I took a half day and wasted whole afternoon, so now I will feel bad if I take a half day to hang out with family on Thursday like I normally would. And all for nothing.
- I am not this girl. I am not the crazed fan that just wants to touch by celebrity of choice, which is what we were all recruited to be. I don't even care if I meet him I just want to be entertained.
- What can I do about this? Stop watching the show? I'm not even watching TV as of late I wouldn't be watching anyway. Not buy Dane CDs or go to his stand up when he's in town? This hurts me too - I enjoy his comedy (although now it will be tainted by this day). Write an angry letter or email? I could, but will he even see it, and what can he really do now?