Realization

Mom took Gma to the doctor Monday. When they got back Gma comes in the back room and says (looking very confused), "So, apparently I have terminal cancer and I have a few more months and then that's it." Um... what do you say to that?

I checked with mom, the doctor said it could be a few months, it could be a year, they don't know. But the point is that Gma has finally understood that this thing is going to kill her, and likely sooner rather than later. Gma's mind is definitely going. The other day I found a half eaten banana in the silverware drawer and some cooked sweet potatoes in the cupboard with the coffee cups. Then I found her looking everywhere for her tea (the tea has been kept in the cupboard above the stove as long as I can remember).

I took her to Trader Joe's later that afternoon and she was acting unusual - she wanted to pay for my stuff too (she's always been very frugal), and then she wanted to go get some good ice cream (not the cheap kind, and she doesn't even eat ice cream). Just before we got home she said, "You know, I saved my money all my life because I was going to need it when I got older. If I've only got a few months to live then I might as well start spending it."

I told the story to our chiropractor/family friend, and we were talking about the stages of death and how it sounds like she's at the acceptance phase. She said that it's not that unreasonable to think she only has a few months. This particular cancer starts slow but accelerates quickly...

Mom is supposed to take Gma to Florida to visit my aunt, and to Michigan to visit my great aunt in May. She's loosing her mind over this whole thing. It's gotta suck telling your mom she's dying. Some days she's fine, but more and more often she's been visibly stressed out and snappy - mostly defensive (she was hungry the other day and that made it even worse). Between stress about taking all this time off to take Gma to all these appts, and the stress of trying to manage the life of a person who forgets 90% of the things you tell them...